Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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