I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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