how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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