Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
