I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize