hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
