He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
