Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
