Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Randomize