omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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