I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
