so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
