WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
