Whatcha textin bout Willis?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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