i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
