so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
