you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
