Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
