Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
