someone owes me an orgasm
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
