That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize