just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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