I want to make a zoo with you.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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