I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize