he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
