Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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