You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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