Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
