he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
