im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize