i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
