Just took my morning after pill in the library
I queefed so loud it echoed.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
