i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Randomize
