Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Fuck appropriateness.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Randomize
