Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
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