this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
