Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
