I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
