last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
