I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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