She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
