I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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