Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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