after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
