Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
