please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
