And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
