I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
