Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i will never coherently bang her
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
