i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
