There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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