He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize