Screwed.edu
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You need Xanax blowdarts
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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