I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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