I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
