Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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