let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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