i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
cat food counts as protein by the way
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
