So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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