Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
